Ignorance is Bliss.
My friend Ebhrashi had just got engaged to a beautiful girl who had an identical twin. I asked Ebhrashi, “How do you tell them apart?”
Ebhrashi said, “I don’t try to.”
Ebhrashi had always felt his nose was ugly. He went for a nose job to the plastic surgeon. He asked the surgeon, “How much will it cost?”
“About two lakhs,” said the doctor.
Ebhrashi was silent for a minute. Then he asked, “Supposing I bring my own plastic?”
Late one evening Ebhrashi came home and found his wife in the arms of another man in their bedroom. “I am going to hack him to pieces,” screamed Ebhrashi, rushing out of the room. “Where is the hacking knife?”
His wife jumped out of the bed and ran after him. She caught hold of him and shouted, “Don’t be a fool! You have been out of work for months. Where do you think the money came from for the new clothes I bought for you recently? And for the new sofa set in the drawing room and the new curtains? Did you believe I made all that money from my sewing?”
Ebhrashi wrenched himself free from his wife’s grip. As he was rushing toward the storeroom, his wife yelled, “No hacking knife, you idiot!”
“Who wants a hacking knife?” Ebhrashi shouted back, without stopping.
“I am getting a blanket. The poor man might catch a cold lying naked there.”
Ebhrashi’s son was a chip of the old block. During a parent-teacher meeting, his teacher told Ebhrashi’s wife. “Your son is intelligent, but he is interested only in one thing – girls. He spends all his time fooling around with them. But don’t worry. I am working on a plan to change him.”
“Good,” said Ebhrashi’s wife. “Let me know if it works. I want to try it out on his father.”
Ebhrashi had taken a girl to the movies. Of course, they were not interested in the movies. The two talked away excitedly, and after a while the man sitting behind them lost his patience. Tapping Ebhrashi on the shoulder, the man said, “Excuse me, but I can’t hear a thing.”
“Well,” fumed Ebhrashi, “this is not meant for you. This is a private conversation.”
Ebhrashi was giving advice to a young colleague in the office, who was about to get married. “The first ten years are the hardest,” he told the young man.
“How long have you been married?” asked the youth.
“Ten years,” said Ebhrashi.
This is from the courtship days of Ebhrashi.
Ebhrashi had slipped quietly into his girlfriend’s room one evening. He sat there whispering sweet nothings to her, quietly so that they wouldn’t be heard. After a while he heard the clocking striking nine, then ten and then eleven.
“How fast time flies when I am with you,” said Ebhrashi passionately.
“Don’t be a fool!” said his girlfriend. “That’s Father setting the clock.”